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This Post Will Not Blow Your Mind

Dear Internet,

Please, stop being so impressed with yourself.

The thing about videos or stories that will “blow your mind” is that you are trying too hard if you have to tell me beforehand that it will make me cry, amaze me…or “blow my mind.” I am not even sure if that is a thing.

I honestly have never felt that way about a single thing on the internet. I like certain things more than others. I am impressed with some, annoyed by others. I do really really love some things which I have read or seen.

Mind blown? Nope. Never.

When most people use “mind blown,” they really mean that the story or video will emotionally manipulate in order to achieve an intended outcome. While the masses of humanity may at times seem like little more than a band of circus animals, that is not an invitation for you to exploit us.

Trust me, I understand what you are trying to do. I survive largely on traffic myself, but please stop the banality. You suck. Telling me you are awesome just reinforces how lame you really are.

Sincerely,
Chris Henrichsen

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