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Confessions: I Don’t Belong

 

Not me. But this guy is in the video near the end of the post. I sometimes feel as though I must look like this guy.

I have felt this way for a long time about many things.

I don’t belong.

I am a Mormon liberal who more and more finds myself still unorthodox…but very much at odds with most other Mormon liberals.

I don’t belong.

I am a white teacher at an urban school.

I don’t belong.

I am an academic trying to teach middle school students who are not impressed by what I know…and they like me even less than that.

I don’t belong.

I am an east-coast kid living in Las Vegas.

I don’t belong.

I live in Las Vegas, but I do not gamble and I do not drink (I also do not care for the “Rat Pack”).

I don’t belong.

I wear blue shirts and Converse sneakers to church.

I don’t belong.

I am a philosophical pragmatist and political leftist while also a Mormon.

I don’t belong.

I feel lonely despite being surrounded by people all day.

I don’t belong.

But…I do feel a sense of belonging at home with my family and within my LDS ward (congregation). I might not feel that way in every family or in just any ward. But my family and ward keep me grounded. They make me feel needed (and I need them). They make me feel wanted. They make me feel loved (and I love them).

My alienation from the world is strong, but it is not absolute. For that I am grateful.

I play this song a lot:

Sometimes I am glad that I don’t belong.

My “Confessions” columns are daily glimpses into my mind. Find my bio here.

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Comments

  1. Maybe all the best people actually feel this way… Some sort of ‘creative restlessness’ that goes along with intelligence? Maybe… 🙂 -TJ

  2. I should start wearing what I want to church more.

  3. Glenn Thigpen says:

    You do belong… Belonging is not just an attitude or a feeling.

  4. Andy Hardwick says:

    Good for you. I teach Gospel Doctrine, live in Texas and am definitely not red. I don’t feel any disrespect in my ward from others that do not share my view. Politics is mostly nonsense anyway. I don’t think there is anything wrong with your manner of dress.

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